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Messy Growth

To be brutally honest, I have lost count of the number of times I tried planning and executing today’s post. I tried writing several times and ended deleting them, because I was not satisfied with the content, or when my mental health took over me, I couldn’t find the strength to write anymore. I realized I was making a tedious task out of something that should be my escapism from everything that’s happening around me. Something that I passionately enjoy doing. But then, yet again, reading my best friend’s blog post (read it here), which was coincidently about what I am going through, it really gave me a better perspective( I am not surprised, The Shubster is amazing). So here I am, with better clarity and writing away.

Now when I say I have trouble writing, it is really not because I don’t have things to say, but because I have too many things fleeting around in my head, and I find it difficult to articulate the thoughts I have. I am going to let out these thoughts in the best way possible. What I am going to talk about in today’s post is, love, and how it motivates us to helps us grow, albeit quite messy, but always helping us grow.

A few days ago on my Instagram handle, I put up a question asking what motivates you to keep going in your lowest points in life. The responses I received were just wholesome. I was overjoyed to find what I was looking for- intimacy. I received purely intimate answers from people and not something that is vague and superficial, which you do come across a lot. Some of the responses (I am keeping them anonymous) that I got were:

  • the dose of dopamine I get after dancing.
  • the desire to make a difference in the world and the people I love.
  • music!
  • trying to focus on the present, try something grounding and hold onto good memories.
  • when its a sunny afternoon with a slight breeze and have dance parties all by myself.
  • looking towards a positive future, spending time (even virtual) with friends and families and dancing.

Now, a lot of you would have been able to resonate and relate with the above responses, just like I did, but each and every activity is super intimate for every individual. Not only they are intimate, but also overpowering in many ways. The thought that the same activity done by two different individuals, is going to be unique in their own ways because of their intimacy attached to it, seemed just so comforting to me. No one is going to dance like you do in you room blasting music, maybe crying or maybe laughing. I see it in a way that you are in fact personifying that very act by giving it your own emotions. Nobody must have known how you went through those difficult nights, but the music you listen to will know, the dance you do will show and the friends/family you share them with will feel. But in the end, it is exclusively yours to own, and when you own your difficult days, you also own all the growth and better days too.

You can always find inspiration and motivation in something, but to finally do the deed of pushing yourself is completely in your hands. For someone who has been feeling that whatever I am doing in the present, let it be anything, is not good enough, the fact that I have my growth for myself gives me a different perspective. Because your personal growth is something nobody can take away from you, and it is special no matter how messy and beautiful it might seem. It is yours and you might as well own it.

The image featured in this post, the beautiful lotus from my grandmother’s little pond, wasn’t exclusively chosen for today’s post but coincidentally, but I love the meaning it has to contribute. Someone very special to me once said that I remind them of a lotus. I really didn’t know why and when asked, they answered, lotuses grow in muddy water, and they need the muddy water to grow, but they grow so gracefully and there is nothing like its beauty when you see it float above the water. Well, I am yet to really digest what the person had to tell me, but I completely love the concept and genuinely want to own it, because the growth is mine to own and just like a lot of you out there. I am learning, everyday, so I guess I can also tell you to embrace your growth, through all the muddy water, weed and insects. I feel in the end you the result is going to be extra-ordinarily beautiful. And with that thought, you can be a lotus or anything that you want to be, but hold on to your true self. I am going to hold onto this thought, and I hope you do too.

~AS


hey there! if you’ve reached so far and have read the whole post, thank you so much, it means a lot to me. I really hope you like it and could take something out of it. feel free to connect with me on Instagram, to share your thoughts. do let me know how you feel about the post in the comments below. hope you have a beautiful week ahead! toodles!

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Published by anupriyashasheendran

Someone you will probably find twirling around talking about flowers, sunsets and the sky. Balancing on the rope of "no matter how high or low it is, even this shall pass', with the belief in the heart, "you are stronger than you ever know".

11 thoughts on “Messy Growth

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